


Five Years

by Sleepingnow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Depressing, Established Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Grief/Mourning, I'm Sorry, Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, M/M, Sad Iwaizumi Hajime, Suicide, he just doesnt know how to cope, iwaizumi is trying, like- seriously depressing, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29625396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepingnow/pseuds/Sleepingnow
Summary: "goodnight, Iwa-chan."Iwaizumi finally accepts his last phone call with Oikawa five years later
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio(Mentioned), Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 32





	Five Years

**Author's Note:**

> this is lowkey rushed lol

It's been five years since Oikawa had given up. It's been five years since Iwaizumi had gotten that call at three fifteen in the morning. Completely new players fill their highschool gym. A new player got to wear that number one jersey that he had always been so proud of. Kageyama and Hinata had gotten married (Iwaizumi felt envy burn his heart at the statement) and all their friends seemed to be starting new lives, something Oikawa never had the chance to do. 

“Shittykawa, it's three in the damn morning, what could you possibly need right now? We have exams tomorrow, get to bed.” Iwaizumi was about to roll over and turn his phone off, but a sniffle from the other end made him stop in his tracks. “Yeah, I know, can you just- stay here for a little while? I won’t bother you after this.” This had Iwaizumi perking up, shifting his weight to his elbows and resting his back against the wall behind his bed. Something was wrong. His stomach felt heavy like bricks and his mouth was dry. Oikawa didn’t talk like this. Oikawa was loud, and whiny, and he would never sound this somber over a simple phone call. “Hey, what's going on?” the line was silent for a short while, the room filled with the quiet buzz of Iwaizumi’s ceiling fan. He was about to turn his phone over to check if Oikawa was still there, when he heard Oikawa speak again. “Everything’ll be fine soon, but please don’t hang up. I don’t want to be alone. This won’t take long.” Iwaizumi didn’t know why Oikawa was so insistent that he wouldn’t be long, but went along anyway. He flopped back down onto his side, letting his phone drop beside his head, the soft glow of the screen his only light. “I’m going to miss you.” Iwaizumi let out a soft hum of agreement. Oikawa had plans to go overseas after they graduated, they were going to miss each other, but they would stay in contact until he came back. “Idiot, don’t talk like that. It’s not like you’ll be there forever, we can be together when you come back.” 

“Yeah, I guess so,” he didn’t like the way Oikawa’s voice fell flat, deciding to blame it on the fact that it was still three in the morning, and both of them were still tired. Iwaizumi heard Oikawa’s breathing slow. “Hey, you better get to sleep soon, you can’t flunk your tests because you stayed up on the phone all night.”

“Yeah, I will. I just don’t want to leave you yet.” He would have rolled his eyes if he had the energy to, Oikawa was so dramatic. “I’ll see you at school anyway, I’ll even pick you up in the morning, alright?” he didn’t receive a reply, so he just nodded to himself, making a mental note to drive to Oikawa’s house in the morning. 

“Goodnight, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi was relieved that Oikawa was finally going to sleep. He could almost already hear Oikawa’s complaints that he was sure he would be met with the next morning, whines about not getting enough sleep between yawns, it would’ve annoyed him if he wasn't already used to it. “G’night.” He assumed Oikawa was already asleep, as he was once again met with silence. Something was strange, he could no longer hear Oikawa slow, steady breathing. Maybe if he had been more coherent he would have been more concerned, maybe he would have questioned the nature of the strange call just a bit more. But none of that mattered much at the moment, as he adjusted his head on his pillow, anticipating seeing Oikawa tomorrow as he drifted off. 

“Hey, open up, we’re going to be late!” he had been banging on Oikawa’s door for at least five minutes now, and he was getting irritated. He’d expected him to be tired, but not to the point where he was either ignoring Iwaizumi or sleeping through it. He finally let up on the door, trudging to his car and rummaging through the glove compartment. He had a spare key for Oikawa’s house. He didn’t like using it much, it felt like an invasion of privacy, but he didn’t mind it as a last resort. “Alright, I’m coming in, shit head!” he threw the door open and slammed it shut behind him, leaving the key in the hole. Something about the house sent chills through his body and made him want to run but also freeze up. He ignored his feelings, stomping up the stairs to Oikawa’s room. “I swear if you’re still in bed--” he cut his sentence off as he stepped into Oikawa’s room. Glow in the dark stars stuck to his ceiling as well as the fan, his wall covered in posters ranging from space themes to volleyball. He quickly swiped his gaze around the room, noticing a lump under the stacks of blankets on Oikawa’s bed. “What the hell?” he grumbled to himself in disbelief. how could he still be sleeping? He grabbed onto the blanket, yanking it off. His throat felt thick with fear that had clogged his wind pipes and left him wanting to gasp for breath that he didn’t seem to have. Oikawa wasn’t moving, he wasn’t breathing, he _wasn't waking up_ . He was holding an orange bottle, it was empty. It suddenly dawned upon him. _He listened to Oikawa die._ He fell asleep as he listened to Oikawa _stop breathing_. He dropped to the floor. He wasn’t aware of his own screaming, ragged cries of sheer pain, ripping his throat to shreds. He stayed curled in a trembling heap for an amount of time he wasn’t even aware of, clutching his stomach as if the wind had just been knocked out of him. 

He didn’t know how long it had been until the neighbors heard the ruckus and came to check on them, he didn’t know when the ambulance had shown up in a cacophony of flashing lights and loud sirens, but he remembered when they took Oikawa away. When they had carried the limp body onto a plain white stretcher that Oikawa surely would’ve called tacky if he were awake, if he were _alive_. He wanted Oikawa’s sleepy yawns, complaining about calling Iwaizumi so late, he wanted Oikawa to whine about the ugly stretcher and groan about how much he hates his bed head. He wanted Oikawa’s annoying attitude and incessant personality. _He wanted the boy he loved back._

They never got a note. He would never know why, or what he could’ve done, and maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it would’ve been better if he had never met Oikawa in the first place, if he was going to leave anyway. Oikawa’s mother had given Iwaizumi a box of Oikawa’s things. He couldn’t bear to look through the box, but he couldn’t get rid of it either. He kept it on the top shelf of his closet, far back behind useless trinkets and clothing that he had crammed in there. 

One night, five years later, after looking through countless pictures of Oikawa, as it was approaching three in the morning he got up and dragged himself to the back of his closet, unburying a now dusty box from behind his belongings. The box felt heavy in his hands, he didn’t think cardboard weighed this much, last time he checked. His hands were shaking and he felt weightless, as if he might drop the container and collapse at any moment. But, as always, Iwaizumi kept it together, kneeling on the floor and placing it in front of him. 

He replayed everything from their last call and before that. Every time he saw a genuine smile from Oikawa, to every time he heard him laugh. All the times they stayed up together, ranging from cramming for exams to playing mario kart. Now, five years later, on his bedroom floor at three in the morning, Iwaizumi was ready to accept the death of his best friend, lover, and forever his partner. He pulled open the box.


End file.
